We’ve all beat ourselves up with something doesn’t go as expected: a job interview, a first date. We’ve all experienced low self-esteem as a result of those moments at some time in our lives. But what happens when those negative feelings never seem to end? What happens when they start to take over your way of thinking and your view on the world? This is what is called cognitive distortions.
Cognitive distortions are distortions in our cognition, or thinking. They are irrational, biased perspectives we have about ourselves and the world around us. They aren’t always conscious; rather, they are thoughts and beliefs that we unknowingly reinforce over time.
Cognitive distortions are often found in anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder, but we’ve all been victims of them at one point or another. But the dangerous thing about cognitive distortions is how subtly they can worm their way into our daily thinking.
There are multiple types of distortions,but here are four common ones:
• Black or White Thinking – Thinking “my life is completely horrible”, rather than “I, like everyone else, have good and not so good aspects of my life/situation/self”. • Overgeneralization – assuming that one bad event means that the whole day (week, year, etc.) will be bad. • Minimization – this is the “flip side” of overgeneralization. The person assumes that a good trait or event is unimportant or “a fluke.” For example, “I did well on that presentation, but it’s only because no one was paying attention to me.” • Selective Attention – focusing only on negative information or information that confirms other negative or unhelpful thoughts. For example, thinking “I can’t do anything right” and then reviewing your week for only those things that you messed up on, rather than also considering the things you did well.
Can cognitive distortions lead to suicide? Most people who have cognitive distortions will admit to feeling pretty miserable about it. But sometimes that misery steps over the edge. While the reasons for suicide are complex, it’s safe to say that cognitive distortions have a big role to play. Behaviors that can potentially lead to suicide include skill deficits and poor coping techniques. For example, a person who has never learned to be assertive may find it impossible to get that job interview, or make new friends. These behaviors may lead to one of the cognitive distortions described above (e.g., black and white thinking; such as “I am a total loser because I can’t find a romantic partner.”).
Coping skills also play a part. When a person has poor coping skills, it makes it that much harder to escape the cycle of cognitive distortions. A healthy person will choose active coping mechanisms, such as reaching out to friends and family for support. People who have cognitive distortions tend to be more passive and avoidant, blaming themselves for their perceived faults. In time, this leads to a state of “learned helplessness”, where the person will behave as he or she is utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when positive opportunities are presented, this learned helplessness will prevent any action.
In time, it becomes all too easy to fall into the trap of believing these lies, and for someone who lives with this constant depression, suicide starts to look very seductive. The only way to escape this cycle is to combat it with rational thinking, which is easier said than done when you’ve spent years, possibly decades trapped. Fortunately, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been developed to do just that. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on exploring relationships among a person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. During CBT, a therapist will actively work with a person to uncover unhealthy patterns of thought and how they may be causing self-destructive behaviors and beliefs. Said person may get homework assignments, where they are asked to write down the situation they are experiencing, their emotions in that moment, negative automatic thoughts, evidence that does or does not support said thoughts, and alternative ways of looking at the situation. CBT was invented by a psychiatrist, Aaron Beck, in the 1960s, and it continues to work wonders for patients from all walks of life.